Is There a Doctor in the House?

I need help. Actual, real help.

Here is the thing. I have this problem and I don't know how to deal with it. Lately, I have been drawn to something that is so unnatural and out of the norm for me. Frankly, it scares me to death.

It all started about 6 months ago.

I was about to pop out The Baby any day, and The Husband and I were at the movies. We were enjoying the air conditioning and super comfy chairs, my cankles kicked up after I just got back from my eleventy-ith trip to the bathroom....when I saw it. At first glance, it was nothing. But since, it has shaken me to my very core.

A preview for The Proposal.

That's right. The one starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

While I agree that Ryan Reynolds is yummier than the Birthday Cake ice cream from Marble Slab, the fact that I would be so drawn to this movie just isn't like me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good romantic comedy as much as the next gal. However, this predictable tale of "a fish out of water comedy about a reformed mean-girl coming into her own and ending up with the guy" isn't something I would, say, consider scheduling my c-section around.

But I couldn't get it out of my mind! I seriously thought it was the hormones.

Really and truly.

I mean, I was fixing to have another human removed out from under some organs, but by God, I wanted to know what was going to happen when they went to Alaska to keep up the shenanigans of this fake marriage.

True, that The Baby was over 9 pounds, but is that bigger than the drama of watching the tables turned on this mean boss, who is now at the mercy of her underling? How will he pull the strings??

I have these feelings of unforeseeable interest in something that isn't part of who I am. But, as the birth of The Wee One had come and gone I was convinced that this slight error in judgement was simply a result of the huge sure of hormones. Much like my massive hair loss.

So, imagine my sheer horror, when I see a preview for The Blindside.

Hanging my head in shame, in the darkness of my own living room, while The Baby is asleep and The Husband is at work. Nothing but me and the preview. This is so much worse than becoming addicted to 16 & Pregant on MTV.

And the shame. Lest we forget about the shame.

I must see this "based on a true story". I have to know how this homeless kid makes it out of the ghetto and into the NFL. Who is the little boy he bench presses?? How is his blue "homeless guy shirt" always so clean?

And you want to know what is the worst part?? The fact that this time.....this time, there isn't even yummy Ryan Reynolds to hide behind. No eye candy. And Sandra Bullock has this horrible southern accent that is about as good as my English accent. This is the very one that I like to use when I have had just a little too much to drink....or when I am in London. But really, that is just to assimilate. And because The husband loves it. No, he really doesn't.

Where have I gone?

What has happened to me?

I should have known that something inside of me was shattered forever when I got sucked into the Twilight series. And then, proceeded to hide the fact that I loved it, by claiming it was a selection for my book club one month. I mean, it totally was.

Who am I kidding. Maybe Sandra Bullock could team up with Robert Pattinson some day.

As if I could be so lucky.