Friday, September 25, 2009

That Time of the Month

So, it is that time of the month again.

This is the day I look forward to every single month. Like, when you were a kid, and it was
corn dog day in the cafeteria. Like the day your cleaning lady comes. Or when you happen to get H1N1, but are really pumped because you lost the extra flab, and finally fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans...kinda the same way you think you would want to go on Survivor because it would be such a great way to "jump start your diet". Well, that last one was a lie, but I can imagine what it would be like not to have to tuck my stomach into my pants....and it is really, really good.


Let me tell you about our little book club.

Our little book club rocks (do people say that anymore? No? Then we are bitchin! What? Worse? Ok then).

We are a small group who is more exclusive than an interview with The Oprah. We were all semi-tossed together by our fearless ringleader who knew all of us, and suggested we get together and hit happy hour. Since we all know how to read, we called it Book Club. Thus a star was born. Because I don't know if these ladies want their real names published, I will creatively give them some nicknames.

There is:

Jennifer- (her real name, by the way. She has been spotted in several blogs, so I know it is cool to expose her for the animal loving, Snuggie Enthusiast, Basset Hound Mom, that she is.) She loves books as much as I do. Reading them, hoarding them, roaming around the bookstore and buying too many of them, and using her too-cool book stamper on them the second she gets them home. She is one of my closest friends, books aside. Of course, the fact she brought me champagne in the delivery room doesn't hurt either.

The Jewelry Maker-Jet setting between Houston, Florida, and Louisiana, among other places, she is a free spirit with a precious puppy (Ok, the dog is 11, but still). What I feel most connected with her about? Well, that would be the fact that she had to start smoking again, in efforts to get along better with her mom. A girl after my own Franzia glass.

The Barbie Doll-She is the gorgeous girl that you soooooo want to hate because she is so pretty, but she is so freaking nice. You would think because she is blonde you could use that stereotypical angle, but she is smart too. Like, really smart. Being around her doesn't make you hate her because she is the total package, it just makes you realize you need to rethink the carbs.

The Iron Woman-Let me just tell you about this chick. One.Strong.Gal. She was telling us tonight that she was proud of herself because she ran 5 miles the other day. Not impressed? Oh, did I forget to mention that she is in radiation for breast cancer??? Oh, I did? Yeah, hi. Need I say more?

So what do I bring to the table you ask? Not so much. But I have infiltrated their layer with the aforementioned cupcakes and now they find me irresistible. I am so in.

We mesh together like and antique quilt. Close up, you wonder how it will all fit together. However, when you piece them together and take a look, you just know all the pieces are how they should be.

However, for the record, I just want to mention that we totally talk about the book. I mean, we ARE a book club.

Then again, there was the night at Gigi's that we all pretty much agree we were slipped a bottle of wine with a roofie in it. Those of us that remember the night, and woke up knowing where our shoes, and cars for that matter, can recall most of the details.

We were fine, fine, fine, fine, fine...

Until suddenly.....BAM!

A couple of us were stocking up on Parliments before the convenience store closed...and continued to chain smoke them until we started to sound like someone with a voice box.

A couple gals were sent home in a cab only to make it around the parking lot before the driver "refused" to take the rider home due to the fact they were "outspoken clients"....AKA, kept yelling at the cabbie.

Because, to this day, we still attempt to recall that night, but it ends up sounding more like an urban least to us, anyway. But we can all recall that month's book.

So there.


  1. Hilarious! I need a book club in my life...must add that to my to-do-list. And, I think you meant to say "Our little book club boulders" instead of "rocks", right?

  2. Sounds like a really fun group of girls! Any of them ever wake up topless in bed with your hubby, but were thankful because she could have fallen off a cliff and died a tragic death in the ocean, but instead don't remember a thing? How's that for a story about an anonymous friend of yours! Kelly B

  3. Oy Vey! What a night!! We should do that again!!

    By the way....Matisse wanted me to remind you that a lady never tells her age! She says she's sticking at 9!

    (I am loving all this blogging!! and currently am craving a cocktail!)