So..... I am pretty sure I am Mom of the Year.
Surprised? Didn't think so. But, what I bet you are wondering about, is why.
Well, it's not because when random strangers walk up to us at Target and tell me he's cute, I joke that I am just waiting until he is house-broken so I can get more when I put him on Ebay.
Nor is it because I expect him to understand when I say things like: "Alex, does Mommy scream in your face when you are eating? No? Well there you go".
And it certainly isn't because I use words like "house-broken" in reference to him.
Here is why:
So, I am at Janie and Jack today buying some clothes for Alex. We are checking out and he kinda starts to have a fit. Naturally, being SuperMom I reach into the pacifier pocket in the jogging stroller while also grabbing my wallet from my purse at the same time. See? Multitasking-I am a genius. Well, imagine my surprise when I don't pull out the pacifier, but actually a wine cork. The sales lady gave me the awkward giggle that made it all the more uncomfortable.
I know what you are saying...."Jane, that isn't bad! It's not like you thought rubbing his nose in poop would help potty train him". You would be right...what makes me Mom of the Year, is what comes next. I instinctively do what any parent does...blame it on the kid. So, while the gal is giving me the stink eye, before I know it, I have the cork in my hand and say, "Alex, you know better than drink and drive." And because the universe thought it would be funny, as I say this a little hiccup escapes. Great.
I took my bag full of clothes that are cuter than a box of puppies and got the heck out of that pressure cooker.
If you need me, I'll be at The Tasting Room.